The Spirit Saga
by Karatelover
Summary: In the afterlife, Freezer causes a lot of trouble for the dead communists, conjuring up a basilisk, changeling Mao's ghost to a fight, all while Stalin's ghost does everything to steal Morgan away from Zarbon.
1. Chapter 1

_**Freezer VS Mao**_

Although Freezer had only been in the spirit world for about fifty years or less, he felt at home and was happy that he was dead. He did in fact miss the idea about trying to conquer the universe and such, but after that last incident in which he tried to get Stalin and Hitler's ghost to help him possess the mortal presidents of various countries, he wanted to stay away from such ideas.

Freezer did not want to worry, but Morgan needed to die whether he did it or someone did, she took Zarbon away from him and became the mother of ZJ and Issy, her children with Zarbon.

Freezer in the meantime was in his huge palace in the spirit world, having sex with the dead sorceress Sarah. He did in fact kill her after she failed him, although she was the one who brought him to life when she was alive. Now that they were both dead, she forgave him for killing her and they were now sex buddies you could say.

"Oh Sarah you give me good sex every time I get board!" Freezer said laughing gaily with Sarah underneath him, he then got out of bed and put his robe on.

"Oh Freezer, you're a dream come true, you know what I want don't you?" Sarah asked giggling like a silly schoolgirl.

Freezer raised an eyebrow, "Although you don't have sex with me the same way Zarbon used to. The poor kid was too terrified to get into bed with me; he hadn't the slightest idea what he was doing. Man I wish that stupid Morgan wouldn't have resurrected him onto earth after Vegeta did away with him!" Freezer said angry.

Sarah rolled her eyes, despite the fact that she liked Freezer and looked up to him like a second father, she knew that Freezer sexually abused kids when he was alive and this did not sit well with her, "Nobody wants to hear about you forcing sex on Zarbon, especially when he was a child."

"Oh I'm feeling a bit under the weather. I feel like taking over the universe!" Freezer said.

Sarah's green eyes grew wide, she thought that Freezer gave that up, after all, he was dead, and why could he not just enjoy himself with her? "I can't believe that you still want to take over the universe even after you are dead." Sarah said.

"Oh shut up! I'm not a human; therefore, since I don't have a human soul I stay the same in the afterlife, at least until reincarnation comes around! I bet that Hitler or Stalin still act the same!" Freezer asked.

"Actually that's not 100% true. Hitler is not as racist as he used to be, and Stalin, well he's not obsessed with power anymore." Sarah said.

"Why am I still the same then? Is it because I don't possess a human soul. Ha! Sucks to be human then!" Freezer said laughing manically.

****"No it doesn't, even evil can love too, but you love nobody. You're only having sex with me because I'm a perfect substitute for Zarbon you say." Sarah said.

Freezer then thought of another evil but almost impossible diabolical plan, "I have an idea, I'll contact the other dead dictators I haven't talked to yet! All of the communist dictators! I will force them to join my side! If they refuse, then I'll destroy their precious homes in the afterlife, because I can't just kill them. They're all ready dead!" Freezer said standing on top of the bed with his index finger pointed up into the air.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Sarah asked.

"It's a splendid idea! I'll go out right now, come with me Sarah!" Freezer said.

Let's be honest here, Sarah was tired and did not what to go along with this evil plan, but she did have no choice in the matter, so the two evil no-good doers walked to Stalin's Kremlin in the afterlife.

Stalin was outside drinking tea with is simpleton friend Sergey Kirov, they were just minding their own business and Stalin was telling him jokes.

"Then everyone says, "Food, water! Food, water!" He and Kirov laughed, and then stopped when they saw Freezer and Sarah standing in front of them. "Oh no, here comes trouble," Stalin said to Kirov.

Stalin then got out of his seat and walked over to Freezer and Sarah, "Yes what do you want now Freezer?" Stalin asked as he blew his nose onto his sleeve.

Freezer had a digested look on his face, never before had he seen such rudeness besides Dodoria, what mindless person would blow their nose on their own sleeve? He was offended that was for sure. Then he straightened up and told Stalin what he wanted, "I want you to get all of your dead communist dictator buddies and help me conquer the spirit world! Then the universe!" Freezer said laughing evilly.

"You're kidding right? Poor Freezer he will never realize that he's never going to control the universe Kirov!" Stalin said as he laughed loudly and Kirov laughed with him.

Freezer turned a bright crimson and was mad, he had never felt so embarrassed in his life, "Oh I hate you!" he yelled.

"Yah what are you going to do about it? You're just a midget alien that wants to rule the universe!" Stalin said laughing with Kirov. 

"Oh I hate the human race!" Freezer yelled. This only made Stalin and Kirov laugh even harder, "I'll show…" He said but felt helpless and hurt since Stalin and Kirov were still laughing at him.

Then Kirov stopped laughing and stared at Sarah, despite the fact that he was 5'2 feet tall and she was 5'8 feet tall she looked cute to him. She looked Russian with those green eyes and thick head of blond hair, although Kirov had to face facts, she was not Russian but she was beautiful.

"Hello Sarah! How are you doing?" He asked blushing.

"Hello Kirov. I'm doing fine," Sarah said giggling.

Sarah liked Kirov too; they met awhile back when Sarah went over to one of Stalin's dachas to borrow a cup of sugar since his dacha was the closest house she lived by. Stalin was not home at the time, however when Kirov answered the door sparks flew.

Sarah had a thing for men that were shorter than she was; it was no surprise that she liked Freezer, who was only 4'7 or 4'9 feet tall.

Stalin looked at Kirov, he felt like was going to vomit in his mouth, "Be careful Kirov she's a tricky one, I know that you like her and all, but she's the enemy." Stalin said whispering to Kirov.

"Let's not forget that you like Morgan, yah you have pictures of her in your room. You like to talk to them when you're not spying on her when she's asleep!" Kirov said.

Freezer then glared at Stalin, no not him too! He was on Morgan's side and since that was the case then the whole plan got screwed over! Who knows how many of those communists liked Morgan?

"You love her too?" Freezer asked furious.

Stalin did not want to say anything; Morgan was probably the only thing that he liked other than power.

Freezer hit Kirov causing him to fall down, "Kirov!" Stalin yelled in shock, Freezer then hit Stalin in the face. Freezer then threw a fireball at the afterlife Kremlin destroying it.

"My afterlife paradise! You son of a bitch you'll pay for that!" Stalin yelled.

"And for not joining my side, I'm going to destroy all of your friend's houses and palaces!" Freezer yelled flying off to look for other communists' houses to destroy.

Kirov then got up and wanted to say goodbye to Sarah, "Bye Sarah!" 

Sarah turned around, "Bye Kirov!" Sarah said walking away from Kirov and Stalin.

"What's his problem?" Kirov asked.

Freezer flew all over the afterlife destroying the palaces and houses of all the communist dictators, this caused panic among them. They all went to a meeting in a big communist building in the afterlife; it was called ECDCA, aka Evil Communist Dictator Club of the Afterlife".

Stalin was at the stand, he was one of the bosses in charge of the meetings, Lenin owned the whole building, but never went to any of the meetings. "Now order! Order! (Bands on the podium with a mallet) Ok as the vice president, I say we do headcount first before discussing our problems! Kirov do head count for me, my friend Kirov will do headcount this time!" Stalin said banging his mallet on the podium.

"Ok when I call your name say here!" Kirov said, after Kirov took attendance he said, "Everyone is here except our other vice president of the club," Kirov said throwing the attendance list behind him.

"A situation has been brought to all of our attentions! Something has got to be done about Freezer! I would like to be the first to complain! He blew my Kremlin to smithereens!" Stalin yelled.

One by one the complaints started coming, "I would like to complain next! He destroyed my home and my statues!" Ho Chi Man said.

Tito and Kim Sung even had their homes destroyed by Freezer as well, and then Nicolae Ceausescu the Romanian dictator said something interesting, which made people wonder if it was truly time to kick him out of the club, "He woke up the vampires!" He yelled.

Everyone just looked at him funny and did not laugh, "Just kidding, but he destroyed my home!" he said, what annoyed the hell out of everyone was that he sounded like Dracula or tried to make himself sound like Dracula.

"Something needs to be done about Freezer!" Pol Pot yelled.

"Ok I say that we tell him to go away very nicely, but he's crazier than all of us put together!" Stalin yelled.

All the sudden, Freezer stormed into the building with Sarah following behind him, "Hello Stalin! Ok communists I want to challenge the most evil communist dictator here!" Freezer yelled.

Everyone looked at Stalin; Stalin could not believe that the other dictators ratted him out! "Why is everyone looking at me?" He asked in his guttural thick Georgian accent.

"You're pathetic! You don't know the true meaning of pure evil! You're too squeamish to watch people die on videotape!" Freezer yelled.

"I can only do so much, I would rather hear about my victims getting tortured than watch it happen; I'm a very imaginative person! I most certainly don't have sex with my adopted son!" Stalin yelled now he done it.

"You take that back! I want to fight you right now!" Freezer yelled.

"And another thing, I'm not the most evil dictator to walk the earth!" Stalin yelled.

"You're not?" Freezer asked lifting an eyebrow.

"No Mao Zedong is he killed more people than I did, and he's our other president of the club, he just couldn't make it today…but I promise that you will have a fight with him!" Stalin said.

"You sound hesitant Stalin, is Mao too obese and lazy to fight me? That arrogant, ruthless idiot fool thinks he rules the world; he's such a left-footer and a stick hole too! Here's the deal, if he wins I'll leave you all alone, but if he loses, then you have to join me in taking over the spirit world and be my sex slaves too!" Freezer yelled.

Stalin smiled uncomfortably, "I'm flattered and all, but you're really not my type!" he said.

"Joseph I'm scared, Mao is so overweight, and he likes to sleep with dead girl spirits. He's a human ghost; he doesn't stand a chance against Freezer!" Kirov said to Stalin.

Kirov then focused his attention on Sarah, there she was again, that tall hot blond that went to bed with Freezer almost all the time, "So Sarah if you're not doing anything, do you want to hang out with me sometimes?" Kirov asked looking down to the floor rather shyly.

"Well, Freezer won't let me!" Sarah said with a disappointed look on her face.

"No more asking her any questions Kirov. Besides you're married anyways!" Stalin said.

"My wife is reincarnated as my grand nephew," Kirov said.

"Ok then he's single. I don't want your woman hurting poor Kirov with her stupid magic!" Stalin said to Freezer.

"Very well I'll be on my way then! Come on Sarah, we have to go!" Freezer said as he ran out of the main room with Sarah following behind.

"Bye Kirov!" Sarah said.

"Goodbye Sarah," Kirov said, as he seemed like he was floating in the air with hearts flying in the background and the pupils of his brown eyes turning into red hearts.

"Will you come back to reality Kirov, please don't droll over her in my presence, you'll only make me sicker!" Stalin said.

Kirov then snapped out of it and put a serious look on his face, "Now what are we going to do Joseph?" He asked.

"Well we're going to have to go tell Mao now," Stalin said.

They went to Mao's palace, inside and the butler showed them to Mao's bedroom, they waited outside for about an hour since Mao might have been asleep…or was he?

Stalin waited long enough, so he knocked on Mao's bedroom door, "Mao are you there?" He asked as he heard some giggling inside the room.

"What's he doing in there?" Kirov asked.

"I don't think you want to know," Stalin then knocked on the door again harder this time, "Mao get out here now!"

"Hold on! Get off me you bitch and get your ass out of here! I'll pay you later!" Mao said from inside the room.

Next thing you know, a cute Chinese girl with a Red Guard's uniform on came out fixing her hair and putting her Red Guard hat on. As Kirov and Stalin watched her walk on, Mao came out of the room with a robe on. He looked a little mad at Stalin, Stalin just smiled like he was happy to see Mao, but in truth, Mao annoyed the hell out of him. "Yes didn't I tell you not to bug me?" Mao asked. 

"Something kind of happened. Freezer has been destroying all of the dictator's homes just because we won't join him! Oh by the way, Freezer wants to beat you up, if he wins we'll all have to serve under him!" Stalin said with a terrified look on his face, the thought of being a sex slave to Freezer grossed him out, especially since Freezer was not only not a human but also a guy.

"But I thought that Freezer was my friend?" Mao said.

"Oh yah right, Freezer doesn't keep alliances, he breaks them! I was a breaker of nations; he was a breaker of planets! See the big difference? I won't join him, I refuse to join him! I have better things to do! A man has certain priorities you know." Stalin said with his arms crossed.

"Oh you're in love? So who's the lucky dike?" Mao asked laughing obnoxiously.

"Well she's actually alive, but she was my second wife in past life, but right now we have more important things to worry about. All of our time depends on you defeating Freezer in that fight!" Stalin said.

"Do you have a personal trainer?" Mao asked raising an eyebrow.

"That's the problem no other spirits want to talk to any of us! So I'm going to get someone I know I can trust, no matter what," Stalin said.

"I could do it," Kirov said smiling like a naïve schoolboy.

"No Kirov I can't afford you to get beat up. I can't do it, I'm not physically fit. Stalin then thought for a moment, "I got it!" he yelled ecstatically, what was he up to this time?

All the sudden someone threw a rock through the window and had a note attached to it, Kirov picked it up and read it aloud. "It says, "You're going down Mao!" It's Freezer's doing!" Kirov said looking up to the ceiling.

He then went up to the window, looked outside of it down to the ground, it was Sarah and Freezer! Freezer just had to rub it in and stick his tongue out at Kirov with Sarah giggling in the background. Kirov was shocked, he knew that a typical Bolshevik like Stalin or Mao got away with being rude on a daily basis, but this was silly coming from an evil imperialistic emperor!

"What rude behavior!" Kirov said.

"Stalin I know you're up there! You're ten seconds away from joining my side along with your crony Kirov!" Freezer yelled up to him in a loud feminine voice.

Stalin went up to the window and looked down at Freezer, "Hey Freezer, I can't wait for the day when I see you on the streets drinking a bottle of vodka with the word defeat written on it!" Stalin yelled down laughing.

Kirov then pushed Stalin aside, opened what was left of the window up and yelled down to Sarah, "Hello again Sarah! So what do you think about this big mess?" he asked.

"Sometimes I wish I could make love to a man who's manly enough to knock some sense into Freezer!" Sarah yelled up.

"Quit talking to him Sarah, he's trying to fill your head with propaganda!" Freezer yelled.

"It's not propaganda, it's love! I'm in love Freezer can't you understand that?" Sarah asked him.

Freezer chosen to ignore what Sarah said to him and yelled up at Mao, "See you in the boxing ring Mao Ding Dong!" Freezer said laughing as he walked away.

"Bye Sarah call me!" Kirov yelled waving his hand to her, he then blew her a kiss and she blew him a kiss back. "Oh Sarah, sweet, sensitive Sarah!" Kirov said more love struck than ever.

Stalin rolled his eyes, "Kirov sometimes I worry about you. I know who to get, someone who hates Freezer more than all of us!" Stalin said.

"Who?" Mao asked. 

Meanwhile in the physical world, Morgan, Zarbon and Tre stood in front of the TV in their exercise outfits doing exercises to an exercise video, it was one of those Denise Austin videos, better known as the Idaho Potato girl on the Idaho Potato commercials.

"One, two, three you're doing great, one, two, three! Yes get those abs working, show those abs whose boss!" Denise Austin yelled on the video with two women behind her doing the same exercises.

"Come on Tre, we want to keep up with Zarbon don't we?" Morgan said.

"Hold on Morgan! I'm coming!" Tre yelled.

"Boy you two are way behind!" Zarbon yelled.

Then Tre got up to try to stretch, but lost his balance and fell onto Morgan which cause Morgan to fall onto Zarbon, all three of them were on the floor, "I'm going to go and take the kids to the park, I hope you two behave yourselves!" Zarbon said getting up and getting ZJ and Issy.

"Don't worry we will!" Morgan yelled out. 

After Zarbon, ZJ and Issy went to the park Tre sat down on the couch and huffed and puffed, he had not had a good workout in a long time.

"Tre I'm going to take a shower, don't you dare try to sneak a peek!" Morgan said going into the bedroom.

"Damn women are so unfair sometimes!" Tre yelled.

In Morgan's bedroom, she took her clothes off and got into the shower. Then the portal to the afterlife opened up in the bedroom. Stalin came out of the portal and walked into the bathroom, I mean he literally walked right through the door; he was a ghost after all.

He thought to himself, and then he saw an amazing thing that he had not seen since Morgan and Zarbon went back in time to World War 2 to his time period.

Stalin then had major amount of thoughts running through his head, "Oh my she's naked! I want to see her so badly, no Joseph you're here on business, not to bring pleasure to your eyes! But on the other hand!"

He just happily hopped into the shower with Morgan and stood in front of her, "Morgan mind if I take a shower with you?" he asked smiling big.

"Go right ahead Joey," Morgan said with her eyes closed, then she opened her eyes and saw Stalin's ghost standing right in front of her, "Joseph what are you doing in the shower with me?"

"Do you want me to sing to you?" Stalin asked trying to calm her down, "_In the shower, in the shower!_" he sang in his beautiful tenor voice.

"I'm not amused!" Morgan said with a disappointed look on her face.

"Ok let's cut the small talk, Freezer is trying to take over the spirit world!" Stalin yelled.

"Why?" Morgan asked with a confused look on her face.

"I don't know, but he wanted me and my communist dead dictator friends to join him, but we don't want to waste our time. Then he went and destroyed everyone's homes! That's not the worst part, the worst part is that he challenged Mao Zedong to a fight, and Mao doesn't stand a chance against him!" Stalin said.

"What's the catch?" Morgan asked.

"If we win, he'll leave us alone, but if we lose then he'll force us to join him and force us to become his sex slaves! I don't want to join that loser, nor do I want to make love to his butt hole!" Stalin said frightened.

"Why should I help you guys out? You sold Zarbon to Hitler as a slave when Zarbon and I went back in time to World War 2. Then you managed to seduce me and steal me away from Zarbon. Then when Zarbon and I returned to our own time, you tried to team up with Hitler, Sarah and Freezer to possess the alive politicians to take over the world in their bodies and just recently…" Stalin interrupted Morgan.

"Damn can't a man make a few mistakes in his life without you females nagging us on? Personally, you're my friend, and I trust you a lot and I think you're physically fit for the job! Also don't tell anyone I told you that or else I'm going to look bad in front of the other communist dictators," Stalin said.

"So let me get this straight, you want me to train Mao so he could defeat Freezer, ok I'll do it, but only on one condition, are you going to give me some privacy because I'm kind of in a middle of a shower." Morgan said.

"Oh sorry!" Stalin walked out of the shower.

"Oh Stalin, just one more condition my dear!" Morgan said.

Morgan and Tre were in their exercise suits in the portal to the afterlife with Stalin, they walked through the tunnel, Stalin was not happy that he agreed to let Tre accompany Morgan into the afterlife with them, but hey Zarbon was at the park with the kids and Morgan needed some protection against any aggressors. Although Stalin would have protected her, who knows why?

"Why did I have to come with you Morgan?" Tre asked with his arms crossed, Tre also was not happy with the situation.

"To be honest with you, I don't trust dead bad guys, especially considering the fact that they're bad guys," Morgan said.

"Don't worry I'll protect you!" Tre said.

"Why else do you think I bought you along?" Morgan asked.

"I see that you have a soft side for me!" Tre said joking with Morgan, and then Stalin turned around and growled at Tre, "I stand corrected," Tre said fake smiling.

They eventually got into the spirit world and Stalin took Morgan by the hand, "Now I'll introduce you to my friends!" he said proudly.

"I'll probably know most of their names since I'm a very smart person," Morgan said.

They went to ECDCA, Morgan and Tre found themselves being stared at by a bunch of dead communist dictators, after hearing about the horror stories from their friends and schools about communism, it did not help one bit!

"What do I say?" Morgan asked.

"Leave the talking to me. We have Mao's personal trainer right here!" Stalin said.

"You brought a girl from the physical world?" Tito the Yugoslavian dictator asked.

"It's ok she's with me, she was my second wife in past life! Now Sarah shut the portal so nobody gets in!" Stalin said.

"Yes sir!" Sarah then used her sorcery magic to shut the portal to the physical world.

"Wow she's hot! I'm going to ask her for her number!" Tre asked looking over at Sarah. 

"Tre she's dead she doesn't need a number, besides she's the one that resurrected Freezer which nearly got Zarbon, Jada and I all killed," Morgan said.

"Still, she looks good enough to bone!" Tre ran over to Sarah, but then Kirov punched him in the face. 

"She's my love interest, get your own capitalist!" Kirov yelled.

Tre ran back over to Morgan, "Morgan I don't like this place!" Tre said shivering and holding onto Morgan's arm.

Morgan then bravely went up to the podium and got onto the microphone, "I will only help defeat Freezer just because I hate him just as much as any of you do and since he was mean to Zarbon!" Morgan yelled.

"What exactly did he do to Zarbon?" Kirov asked.

"Yah who the hell is Zarbon?" Tito asked.

"Zarbon is Morgan's boyfriend who was raped by Freezer when he was a child!" Stalin yelled out.

There was an awkward silence, too much information came to past, "So bring on the victim I mean the experiment, I mean the subject!" Morgan said.

"Oh you mean me?" Mao asked walking up behind Morgan, he was tall for an Asian that was for sure, but he smelled gross and he had an icky energy about him that did not go over well with Morgan.

"Help!" Morgan ran over to Stalin and clinger onto him, "As of why I'm clinging on to you for protection I don't know." Morgan said.

"Don't worry he won't hurt you, but he's not exactly a huge fat teddy bear, he only acts ruthless when he's done something wrong by accident and doesn't admit to his mistakes. Oh and he's a major womanizer as well." Stalin said smiling.

"Thanks for the warning," Morgan said.

"Did I also mention that he never brushed his teeth, and he didn't take a bath in over 25 years?" Stalin asked.

"Ok that does it, I think we better…" Morgan looked at the dead dictators glaring at her, "Enjoy our stay Tre!" Morgan said putting on a fake smile.

"I don't like this already, I thought we were going to leave or something," Tre said.

For the next twenty-four hours in the afterlife, Morgan and Tre did the best they could to train Mao, by making him do sit-ups, pushups, and making him run. However sometimes he farted, belched a lot, he fell asleep, and snored loudly. Sometimes he got a chocolate candy bar when on the poll-up bar.

After hours of endless training, which seemed to last an eternity for Morgan and Tre, Morgan went back to the ECDCA building and snuck into Stalin's office, the door was opened and she saw that Stalin was sitting at his desk reading a long book with glasses on. Stalin looked up and was surprised to see Morgan there, "Funny I thought that I locked the door, boy this is awkward." He said putting his book down.

"It was opened, so I just walked in you always have been a book worm haven't you?" Morgan asked giggling at Stalin wearing those glasses; he looked more like a Turkish intellectual than a dictator.

"Well is he ready?" Stalin asked taking his glasses off.

"He's almost ready," Morgan asked.

"Good, Morgan can I talk to you for a second?" Stalin asked looking at her intensely.

"Sure I guess I could," Morgan said.

She was so excited deep down inside, she missed Stalin enough the he was an evil bastard and stole her from Zarbon in the World War 2 time period.

Morgan and Stalin took a long walk to Stalin's Kremlin, which for some reason was back up as if nothing happened; this was puzzling to Morgan, "I thought you said that Freezer destroyed it?" Morgan asked.

"Yes he did, but it was rebuilt within a day, in the spirit world, anything is possible." Stalin said.

"Good I guess I like the spirit world better, let's go inside," Morgan said.

They went into the afterlife Kremlin and went to Stalin's room, "This is such a nice place that you have here," Morgan said.

"Thank you I designed it myself," Stalin said lying.

"Wow how great," Morgan then sat on the bed, Stalin sat down beside her, she looked at him and she smiled. She then decided to move over to the other side of the bed, but he continued to move closer to her, "Hello isn't there a rule in Russia that regards personal space?" she asked.

"No that exists not in Russia," Stalin said messing his English up.

Morgan stared in space, then Stalin wanted to put another move on her, so he put his hand on her leg and started rubbing it up to her pelvis, Morgan then looked at him, "You just don't know when to quit do you?" She said. 

"What are you talking about?" Stalin asked rolling his eyes and smiling.

"You just put your hand on my leg, and you rubbed it up my leg,"

"I'm feeling cold I need to warm my hands somehow, do you mind if I kiss your lips?" Stalin asked quickly sweating like a pig.

"Well Stalin I kind of do, I have a boyfriend whom I love dearly," She said.

"Relax we're not going to kiss like lovers, it's a friendship kiss," Stalin said.

"Well ok if it's just a friendship kiss, then I'll kiss you," Morgan then let him grab her and kiss her lips.

"Wow, see now that wasn't so bad now was it?" Stalin asked.

"Yah it was, I'm sorry I mean it wasn't. You're such a good kisser!" Morgan then grabbed him and kissed him more, they then started to make out, even Stalin was surprised about this, "Wow I've never dreamed of a day like this, Zarbon is so boring and he's too nice too! Let's kiss again!" Morgan said.

Stalin then reconsidered, she was a sweet and nice girl, but to corrupt this nice girl would probably take a toll on his own soul, "Wait I don't want to take advantage of you anymore," Stalin said with a sad look on his face.

"Who's taking advantage of whom? I love the way you kiss!" Morgan then thought to fake some tears up so Stalin could feel sorrier for her, "Oh Stalin sometimes I feel so lonely without you around! I mean being a girlfriend of an alien, and taking care of two hybrid children are such a pain to me sometimes! I need some love and affection from a man like you Zarbon loves the kids more than me!" Morgan said fake crying.

Stalin fell for it so badly that he grabbed Morgan's hand and started kissing it, "Oh Morgan you don't know how long I've missed you. I wanted you to stay with me for the rest of my life; I couldn't bear the thought of you going back to your own time period. I wanted to marry you and possibly rule the world with you. I never conquered the world, but you conquered my cruel, black heart. I wanted you to bore me more children, I like kids a lot!" Stalin said crying.

"How very deep," Morgan said.

"So if there is anything I can do for you, then I'm wiling to be your husband! But most importantly make you happier than I promised in my time period!" Stalin said.

"Well why didn't you just say so!" Morgan then took her bra and pants off she then took Stalin's hand and put it on her breast, "Ok make me happy, I'm a board house girlfriend!" Morgan said.

"What are you saying?" Stalin asked getting nervous. 

"I want to have sex with you," Morgan said trying to unbutton his uniform.

Stalin then went from happy to angry, how could she just offer sex without any commitment at all? "You whore! You only wanted to have sex with me! You don't care about my feelings at all!" He pushed her to the ground and walked out of the room growling with anger.

"Stalin wait! I didn't mean it that way! I do care about your feelings!" Morgan said.

Stalin was in his Kremlin garden with a bunch of spirit animals running around. He planted a lot of roses and miasmas and some tulips. He sat on the bench petting a white ferret, Kirov came into the garden, picked a white rabbit up and started to pet it.

"What's wrong Joseph? You look so sad." Kirov said.

"Morgan doesn't love me, and it seems like she doesn't like Zarbon either." Stalin said.

"What are you talking about you tell me that they're madly in love with each other." Kirov said.

"Well I thought that, but then when I told her how much I felt for her, she took her cloths off and tried to have sex with me. I pushed her and ran off." Stalin said.

"Boy I don't want to say this, but you are so stupid," Kirov said.

"Yah I know I am, how could I love her!" Stalin said sadly. 

"No I mean she was giving herself to you, why didn't you just have sex with her?"  
Kirov said raising an eyebrow. 

"Young Kirov, love is so much deeper than just having sex. It's when two people feel for each other, I feel for her loneliness. She tells me she's not happy without me," Stalin said.

Now this was just funny considering the fact that this was coming from a man who not only had potential to manipulate allies and enemies alike and murder them without a thought at all, but also someone who was so smitten with Morgan that he almost had to think twice about sex. He also was no expert in the field of love; the only people that he ever loved when he was alive had been his first wife and his children.

"Don't worry Joseph, you know what they say if it's true love, then they'll come back to you," Kirov said probably thinking about Sarah.

Morgan spied on them, but then she tried to jump over the fence, tripped and fell down, "Hello Joey! Look I do care about your feelings, maybe it was too sudden!" Morgan said.

"Is that really true? Oh Morgan you don't know how happy I am to hear that!" Morgan ran over to him and hugged him tightly, "I thought you just wanted to have sex with me!" Stalin said.

"Well I do," Morgan said blushing with embarrassment. 

"Well come on girl I'll carry you!" Stalin said picking Morgan up and carrying her into the Kremlin.

Yes, they had sex kissing each other under the covers so that you did not have to imagine such an image. There were rose petals on the bed and on the floor with candlelight in the background.

A few hours later, Morgan and Stalin laid in each other's arms, under the covers naked. "Oh Joey, I don't ever want this moment to end" Morgan said caught up in the moment probably thinking that this was some kind of fling and that Stalin would stop bothering her.

"I don't either, when you die, can you come to me and be with me?" Stalin asked.

"You're damn right I will," They kissed on the lips and Stalin put a rose in Morgan's hair.

Hours later Morgan went up to the podium at ECDCA, "Gentlemen…Mao is ready to battle Freezer!" Morgan said. Everyone cheered while Stalin came up to Morgan and took her behind the curtain backstage and started making out with her passionately on the lips.

Tre looked at Sarah and Kirov kissing backstage passionately on the lips, "I guess that leaves me out of the picture." Tre thought.

Sarah then took Kirov by the hand and walked up to Tre, "Tre, Kirov and I had a talk, how about we get together and have an orgy." Sarah said.

Tre went from feeling left out to feeling as he was wanted, "That sounds great!" Tre yelled.

To make a long story short, Kirov and Sarah had a wild orgy with Tre; Tre had not felt this good in a long time, although he and Kirov took turns making love to Sarah.

On the night of the fight Mao and Freezer stood in separate corners, Morgan sat next to Stalin sitting next to Stalin while Tre and Kirov sat next to Sarah.

"In the red corner, is the most incredibly evil, vicious tyrant ever to walk the face of the earth! Ladies and gentlemen the red emperor, chairman Mao Zedong!" The announcer yelled.

Everyone booed at Mao, "Well that's not very nice, I could think of one million better comebacks than that!" Mao yelled.

"In the blue corner is the most evil tyrant to exist in the universe! Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the emperor Freezer!" the announcer yelled.

Everyone booed at Freezer. "Oh shut up you fools!" Freezer yelled.

"Morgan you've better have trained him right, or I will have even more hell to pay," Stalin said shivering at the thought of being Freezer's bitch.

"Don't worry I'm sure he knows what he's doing," Morgan said smiling at Stalin and kissing his cheek, they started to make out.

"Ready, set go!" The announcer yelled as the bell rang.

"Take that Mao!" Freezer said flying up to the much taller Mao and punching him in the face hard.

"I wasn't even ready yet asshole!" Mao said spitting a tooth out of his mouth.

"Who's winning Tre?" Morgan asked.

"So far Freezer," Tre said worried.

"He better win, because when I die, I don't want to spend the afterlife in shackles." Morgan said.

"Don't worry my pet, he'll do fine he always has stuff up his sleeves when you least expect it." Stalin said nervously.

"Go Mao kick his butt!" Kirov yelled.

"Sarah are you ready to take the relationship to the next level?" Tre asked.

"Are you kidding, I only did it with you just to have sex remember? I'm in love with Kirov," Sarah said grabbing Kirov's butt to make Kirov laugh.

"I don't understand if you love each other so much then why was I apart of your orgy?" Tre asked offended.

"In the afterlife, nobody belongs to somebody, everybody belongs to everybody," Sarah said.

"Well that makes perfect sense," Tre thought sarcastically. He looked over to Morgan and Stalin making out, "Morgan, what about Zarbon?" Tre asked.

"Relax it's just a stupid crush," Stalin did not hear her and grabbed her and kissed her more.

Sarah looked at Mao and knew what had to be done, "Oh no Mao is getting his butt beaten! I'll help him cheat! Follow me Kirov!" She got up and Kirov followed her out of the stadium.

Sarah and Kirov went outside the stadium and Sarah drew an up-side-down star with some chalk in her hand. Kirov knew nothing about magic considering the fact that he was a communist and did not believe in such ridicules stuff.

"What is the plan?" Kirov asked scratching his scalp.

"To prevent Freezer from winning, I'm going to make Mao's sweat stink so much that Freezer faints and it should win the fight," Sarah said.

"I'm not going to like this. Doesn't Mao smell bad enough?" Kirov asked.

"Yah, but let's make it smell very bad," Sarah said as she said the incantation and a bunch of smoke came out of the circle, Kirov watched the smoke rise up with wonder in his eyes, almost in the way that a turkey looks up at the sky when it starts raining.

Freezer was still kicking Mao's butt in the ring, and then Freezer smelled something gross, that something was Mao's body odor, which had increased due to Sarah's spell, "Oh my God, what is the smell? Time to go to bed for me!" Freezer then fainted from the bad smell.

"One, two three!" The referee said getting onto the ground and pounding it.

"The winner is Mao, the red emperor!" The Announcer yelled.

"Give me a big favor and hit the showers!" The Referee said.

Morgan and Tre were about to go back to the physical world through the portal, Stalin had a sad look on his face, "I enjoyed your stay, come and visit me again, you also saved us all from a terrible fate!" Stalin said kissing Morgan on the cheek not knowing that in real life Kirov and Sarah were the real heroes.

"Funny I felt like I didn't do shit to help, oh come here you big duff!" Morgan then grabbed Stalin and kissed him on the lips.

Morgan and Tre said their goodbyes and went into the physical world, "I felt like I lost her again Kirov, let's go home," Stalin said sighing.

Morgan and Tre went back to the physical world, and the portal closed up. Zarbon came back into the house with the kids, who had ice cream cones in their hands.

"Hello Morgan and Tre, did you enjoy the morning?" Zarbon ran up to Morgan and hugged her tightly.

"You bet I did," Morgan said fake smiling.

"I missed you so much I don't ever want to be separated from you again!" Zarbon said.

"Me either dear!" Morgan said.

"Did you enjoy the morning too Tre?" Zarbon asked.

"I sure did," Tre said giggling then sighing.

"I love you Morgan I missed you so much!" Zarbon said hugging her tightly.

"I love you too Zarbon," Morgan said with a guilty look on her face.

End of Story


	2. Chapter 2

_**Let's Stay Drug Free**_

In Russia, by the docks it was late at night, two men waited for a boat to come in. There stood a husky looking man with bushy black eyebrows and eyes as black as the night sky. The other one that was blond hair with ice blue eyes that looked almost white. They looked like trouble, especially since they had scars on their faces probably since they fought in the Afghanistan takeover.

Ivan the bushy black eye browed Russian turned to Nicolai, "_So when does the boat get here?_" he asked.

"_Just be quiet, do you want the police to know what we are doing?" _Nicolai the blond asked.

"_The police are too pussy to stop us!_ _Look there it is!" _Ivan yelled pointing to the boat coming into the yard.

They watched as a woman got off the boat, it was none other than Mishum of Basra, Saddam's ex girlfriend, ex dictatress of Turkey with cold dark green eyes and thick black hair. Despite the fact that she was a Muslim woman she was not the least bit conservative or the least be modest, she word heals and a trench coat.

Mishum walked up to the freaky looking Russians and took out a Russian dictionary, "So uh, do any of you speak English?" Mishum asked in English.

"I do, I could interpret what my boss is saying," Ivan said.

"That won't be necessary; I've been taking late night classes of English. So did you smuggle the opium?" Nicolai asked.

"I have all of it right here in this handsome looking suitcase," Mishum said patting the suitcase she was carrying; it was the only thing she brought with her on the boat.

"Now all we need to do is sell it to little kids," Nicolai said.

"But first of all, I need my money that you promised me, you're talking to Saddam Hussein's ex mistress and the ex dictatress of Turkey." Mishum said taking a gun out and putting it to Ivan's gut.

"She means business Nicolai, you can help us sell the drugs then you get your money." Ivan said.

"Yes do we make ourselves clear?" Nicolai asked.

"Yes but, that's so not fair!" Mishum said.

"Come on we'll take you to our apartment," Ivan said grabbing her bags and taking them with him.

Mishum had a dead look in her eyes, "Relax its clean," Nicolai said.

"I was about to say, it better not be filled with rats, because an ex dictatress like me should be living in luxury," Mishum said following the two mafia men.

Morgan and Zarbon were at home, it was also ZJ's birthday, everyone gathered around the table and sang happy birthday to him, "Make a wish, but don't say it out loud, because it won't come true," Morgan said.

"Ok mom," ZJ thought for a while and blew out the candles. Everyone clapped and Issy booed instead she was so jealous that this special day belonged to ZJ and not her; after all she was at least three or two how did anyone except her to understand?

"Should I cut the cake you think?" Zarbon asked. 

"I don't care," Morgan said.

"Ok," Zarbon then cut the cake.

"So did you wish that I'd have a new girlfriend?" Tre asked.

"No, not really, besides mom told me not to tell anyone what I wished for," ZJ said.

"But it's not your birthday Tre, its ZJ's which means he can wish for whatever he wants to wish for," Zarbon said.

"I knew that," Tre said with a disappointed look on his face.

Zarbon's cell rang and he answered it, "Oh sorry I have to get it," Zarbon said.

"Why do you have a new girlfriend or something, if you do then I hope she's very attractive." Morgan said.

Zarbon looked at Morgan as if she was nuts, of course Morgan was the only person that he loved other than their two children, there could never be another woman as far as he was concerned; "No it's a governmental call. Hello?" Zarbon said.

"Zarbon, president Putin just called me, and told me that there is trouble in Russia it's the Russian mafia. That's not the worst part; Mishum of Basra has joined forces with them." Bush said on the other side of the line with his thick Texas accent.

"What exactly are they doing?" Zarbon asked.

"They're selling drugs to children in the street. You must leave the house right away, come to the white house, a helicopter is waiting for you, and bring Morgan with you! You two make a great team." Bush said.

"Remind me why I signed Morgan and I up to be secret agents as a second job?" Zarbon asked.

"Are you defending anyone on trial today?" Bush asked.

"No it's Sunday besides I'm in the middle of a…"

"Then get your butt over to Russia now!" Bush said interrupting Zarbon.

"Morgan and I will only go to Russia under one condition," Zarbon said.

Later that day the doorbell rang at the White House, Laura Bush answered the door, "Hello are you the guests that are to spend the night?" She asked.

It was ZJ and Issy, Zarbon made a deal with Bush to let the kids spend time in the White House if Zarbon and Morgan had to go to Russia. Sadly, to say that ZJ did not like Bush since he heard his mom bitch about him constantly.

"Well hello there are you the two children that will be staying with us for the weekend?" Laura asked.

"Yes I can't believe that dad and mom have to go to Russia again, what's so great about stupid Russia isn't it bad enough that my mom loves a dead dictator that tries to seduce her constantly when dad isn't around?" ZJ asked.

Laura's eyes grew wide, "Well why don't I show you two to your rooms," She said as she took their bags and took them to the guest room.

Meanwhile at home Morgan was packing along with Zarbon, "So let me get this straight, we have to go over there to stop them from selling drugs to kids?" Morgan asked.

"Yes of course," Zarbon said.

"I want to go with you guys," Tre said.

"Not this time Tre," Zarbon said.

"Why not?" Tre asked hurt.

"It's not that we hate you, it's just that it's a government job," Zarbon said.

"Why are you working for the government?" Tre asked.

"We're secret agents in our spare time, but you already knew that remember?" Morgan asked.

"Oh yah I forgot, but where are you going?" Tre asked.

"To Moscow, Russia to stop the Russian mafia and Mishum," Zarbon said.

"Well what should I do?" Tre asked.

"Go home Tre this mission is important and we can't afford you to screw it up," Morgan said.

"No I don't want to!" Tre said crossing his arms.

Zarbon then did the unpleasant duty of throwing his silly friend out of the house, luckily Tre was not that discourage and hardly ever was, "Man I'll come rather you like it or not!" Tre said walking away.

Morgan then looked at Zarbon packing the bathing suits, "Zarbon why are you packing our bathing suits?" Morgan asked.

"I don't know, in case I want to get darker,"

"I understand that, my skin is very fair and besides its common sense that you don't fight evil with being good-looking!" Morgan said with a big grin on her face.

Morgan and Zarbon returned to the White House, kissed the kids goodbye, got into the helicopter and it took off. Nobody felt more guilty about leaving the kids with the Bushes than Morgan, she did not like Bush that much and Zarbon…well he thought that Bush was an all right guy once you got past his individuality.

Morgan and Zarbon started talking in the helicopter, "I can't wait to visit the Kremlin again," Morgan said.

"Morgan we don't have time to visit the Kremlin. We need to defeat the mafia," Zarbon said.

"All the mafias are the same to me, how horrible could this one be?" Morgan said.

"We'll find out Morgan, we've watched the Russian mafia on the history channel I know that much about them," Zarbon said.

"Forget the history channel Zarbon, the History Channel has a way of manipulating information to make bad guys look worse and good guys to look better," Morgan said.

Zarbon rolled his eyes, as of where she got an idea like that from, who knows, "Yah ok let's just focus on how we're going to take these guys down ok?" Zarbon asked.

Meanwhile Tre went to the hospital to pay Olga, his best friend's wife a visit. He went up to the desk and saw a woman reading a book. He thought that the woman was cute, maybe she was married, or not.

"Hello beautiful can you please tell me where Olga is?"

"Oh Dr. Olga is in the emergency room, she'll be with you shortly." The woman said reading continuing to ignore Tre while looking at a magazine.

"I'll just sit down," Tre then sat down in a chair located in front of the desk. Who knew how long this was going to take, "So do you have any children? Are you married?" Tre thought he could ask the woman.

"I don't get out much," The lady at the desk said still looking at the magazine, no wonder she did not get out much, if someone ignored me like that I would be out of here by now.

All the sudden, Olga walked over to the woman at the front desk, besides having a crush on Morgan, Tre had a crush on Olga, despite the fact that Olga was married to his best friend Jada Banks. Who could blame him; a woman like Olga was born and raised in Chicago in the Jewish courter speaking Yiddish and English, well mostly English since she refused to speak Yiddish even to her now dead grandparents.

Besides the fact that her whole family considered themselves ethnic Jews for some weird reason, she had those dark green eyes of hers, her hooked Jewish nose and her long flowing dark brown hair. She was unusually beautiful since she looked like one of those Spanish Jews, if there even was a look. As of why she married that strict Catholic Jada who knew?

"Hello Olga, someone is here to see you," the woman said to her.

Could you tell him that I have the rest of the day off?

"Olga over here!" Tre yelled running up to her, grabbing her hands and kissing them.

"Hello Tre, what's up?" She asked.

"I have a question what are you doing this afternoon?" Tre asked her.

"I'm going to fly my plane today. Did you know that I'm a pilot too or did Jada never tell you that?" Olga asked.

Tre then smiled, he could use this woman to take him to Russia in a plane so that he could help Morgan and Zarbon defeat the mafia. "Have you've ever been to Russia?" Tre asked.

"No I haven't, why do you want to go there it's a messy and corrupt country, they're the reason why my Jewish ancestors left and came to the USA during the pogroms under the Czar." Olga said.

Tre rolled his eyes, "Oh get a grip Olga, that was a long time ago and besides it's not like the Jews were the only ethnic group to suffer, in fact…" 

"Get to the point!" Olga said interrupting Tre.

"Morgan and Zarbon wouldn't let me go with them on a secret agent mission," Tre said.

"Oh you poor thing, I'll get the plane some gas. Come with me." Olga said walking to her office to take her scrubs off in her office.

"Cool we're going to Russia!" Tre said.

"We also need to get our passports when we get stopped." Olga said.

"Uh oh we're going to get stopped?" Tre asked.

A few hours later Olga and Tre found themselves out in the middle of a field, Olga was pouring some gas into her plane

"Morgan and Zarbon are secret agents hum?" Olga asked.

"Yes they are. They always go on missions without me." Tre said hurt.

"This time you're going to go. All we have to do is fly this plane up to Alaska and get some gas then we'll fly over Siberia, oh by the way were in Russia are they going to?" Olga said.

"They're going to Moscow," Tre said.

Ok let's start this baby up," Olga said putting the key into the ignition, and the plane took off, "Have your seatbelt on?" Olga asked.

"Of course I do," Tre then looked down in her seat and saw she had a_Black Eyed Peas _CD, "Put on the Black Eyed Peas!" Tre said.

"Who died and made you leader of the world?" Olga asked as she then put her CD in and they listened to the song _Shut Up_.

Morgan and Zarbon arrived at the Moscow airport in just a few hours; the truth was that it was a special helicopter that possessed excessive speed. If you do not believe me then just use your imagination then.

Morgan and Zarbon then stepped out of the helicopter, and got into a limo, which took them to a hotel across the street from the Kremlin. When they got to the hotel Morgan helped them check in since she spoke Russian almost fluently by now, and they started to unpack when they were in their hotel room.

"I would love to consider using false names so that nobody recognizes us," Zarbon said.

"Yes of course, we don't want the mafia to know who we are," Morgan said.

"Ok let's start walking, we need to track the Mafia down the sooner the better!" Zarbon said.

"We don't even know where the Mafia is," Morgan said.

"I'll use my instinct," Zarbon said.

"I hope you don't get us lost like the last time." Morgan said.

"Nonsense, this time I got it all under control." Zarbon said.

Hours later they were at the famous Arbat market place in Moscow, they looked around wondering which way to go.

"Admit it we're lost! I knew we were going to get lost again!" Morgan said.

"We're not lost; I swear to God that we're in the right area!" Zarbon said.

"Aren't there any ghettos? I bet you that they're in the ghettos!" Morgan said.

"When was the last time you heard about the ghettos, I thought I heard about them in Poland." Zarbon asked.

"Yah that's where they started, but I heard them in a rap song!" Morgan said.

A salesman walked up to them, "Hello Americans want to buy some Lenin and Stalin watches? Perhaps you would love some Putin masks for a party!" he said holding up a cheap looking Putin mask.

"I would be delighted, but unfortunately the mister wouldn't like it!" Morgan said.

"Sorry we're not interested," Zarbon said taking Morgan by the hand and walking away.

"I don't understand why Bush makes us do stuff for Russia considering the fact that Bush is so critical of Putin and the current Russian regime," Morgan said. 

"Probably because if something happens to us the government can cover it up and nobody will miss us, I mean who is going to miss an alien and a girl?" Zarbon asked.

"Good point," Morgan said.

"Enough of this talk let's start looking for the Mafia!" Zarbon said.

Tre and Olga landed in Alaska hours later to get some gas for the plane, Tre was impatient he wanted to kick the mafia's butt really badly. "When are we going to get to Russia?" Tre asked for the third time. 

"I don't know will you stop asking?" Olga asked. 

"Not when the Russian Mafia is killing people!" Tre had said too much, he covered his mouth.

"That sounds so dangerous, last thing I want to do is try to identify your mutilated body Tre." Olga said putting the pump into the tank.

"I just want stop the Mafia with them, they never let me come on their adventures!" Tre said.

"How do you plan to do that Tre?" Olga asked.

"I don't know," Tre then saw something at the coroner or his eye. He turned around and looked into the store, there was a cute Eskimo girl, "Hang on a second Olga, I'm going to get some snacks ok?" Tre said walking up to the store.

"But Tre we have plenty of snakes in my plane!" Olga said.

"I'm going slowly into the store!" Tre then opened the door fast and ran into the store, he then saw the cute Eskimo girl sitting at the front of the store behind the counter reading a book, Tre thought that maybe he would have a shot with her. He wetted his hair and walked up to her, "Hello lady so what is your name?" he asked.

"My name is Mandy, who told you about me?" she asked.

"That is a pretty name for an Asian woman," Tre said stupidly.

"I'm not Asian, I'm an Eskimo," Mandy said lifting an eyebrow.

"Do you know how to get there, if so then will you come with us?" Tre asked.

"I don't even know you, besides Russia is on the other side of the world!" Mandy yelled at him in fear.

"Who knows, maybe I want to get to know you instead?" Tre said.

"I'll have you arrested and I'll file charges against you for sexual harassment! Help this man is trying to rape me!" Mandy yelled aloud.

Things turned for the worse when the store manager came up to Mandy, "What's the problem Mandy?" he asked.

"This man is harassing me!" she said pointing to Tre.

"Don't worry I'll take care of him!" The manager cracked his knuckles and kicked Tre out of the store, "And don't come back!" he yelled slamming the door shut.

Tre walked back over to Olga, "Are you finished gassing the plane yet?" Tre asked.

"Yes I'm finished, where did the snacks go?" Olga asked.

"I didn't get any, I saw this cute girl and I was thrown out of the store," Tre said.

"Why were you thrown out?" Olga asked lifting an eyebrow not surprised in the least.

"She complained to the manager that I was harassing her, all I wanted to know was her name and she accused me of raping her when I didn't even lay a finger on her!" Tre said sighing.

"Ok I got the plane filled up; do we still need some snacks?" Olga asked.

"No I only went in to flirt with that Eskimo girl," Tre said.

"Fine let's get going!" Olga then got into the plane and took off with Tre sitting next to her.

Morgan and Zarbon were still in Moscow in the marketplace,

"They're over here!" Zarbon said pointing to a woman who was doing her own laundry out in the street.

"Forget it Zarbon, your instinct is just not working today," Morgan said.

"Let's try to just walk around until we find some suspicious looking character," Zarbon said.

"No Zarbon it's not going to work, there are a lot of suspicious looking people that live in Russia!" Morgan said.

"Well what do you suggest that we do?" Zarbon asked.

"I say we look for the ghettos," Morgan said.

"Will you knock it off there are no ghettos!" Zarbon said.

Morgan

"Yes there are!" Morgan said.

"No there aren't!" Zarbon said.

Morgan was about to do a comeback but then saw a boy sniffing something, "Wait what is that boy sniffing?" Morgan pointed to the boy.

Zarbon and Morgan ran over to the boy, "Excuse me boy, but can I try some of that stuff?" Zarbon asked.

"Sure," the boy said handing the Ziploc back to Zarbon.

Zarbon put his finger in the bag and tasted the white substance, "It's not sugar, it's real." Zarbon said.

"I know it's none of our business, but who sold you that batch of cocaine?" Morgan asked.

"The hotty over there!" The boy said pointing to a street corner where Mishum of Basra was selling kids cocaine.

"It's Mishum! We need to bust her ass right now!" Morgan said about run over to Mishum and punch her.

"Wait we don't want to look to obvious. She'll know who we are!" Zarbon said.

"Good point, we need to disguise ourselves, we'll go to a costume store!" Morgan said.

"Good idea!" Zarbon said.

About a few minuets later, Morgan and Zarbon dressed in gray uniforms, with faux fur hats on. They looked like a couple of KGB agents and they walked over to Mishum.

"Hello can I help you sir or madam?" Mishum asked looking at Zarbon and Morgan.

Zarbon then decided to do a bad Russian accent to the best of his ability, "Hello we're secret police! We would like to know if that cocaine you're selling?" Zarbon said.

"I don't know what you're talking about sir." Mishum said confused especially considering the fact that the police usually ignored her on the street.

"Don't mess with us, we're NKVD! Now get against the wall!" Morgan then pushed the 5'6 feet tall Mishum up against the wall and then pulled her pants down

"What the hell are you going to do to me?" Mishum asked annoyed.

"What are we supposed to do now?" Zarbon asked.

"I don't know it was your idea to pull her pants down," Morgan said.

"Yah because I saw it in movie, but I think I turned it off after they pulled the guy's pants down," Zarbon said.

"Don't mess with us or we'll take you to Gulag!" Morgan said in her fakest Russian accent she has ever done.

"Oh not the Gulag!" Mishum said.

Morgan got her plastic gun out and started beating Mishum's butt with it, "That is for selling illegal merchandise to the poor little kiddies!" Morgan said.

"Why are you caning me?" Mishum asked even though Morgan did not beat her that hard. Even when the actual Russian police walked by they ignored what was going on, they looked for a second and then continued on their way drinking vodka.

"We're not caning you, we're just disciplining you! Now get out of here before we take you to the NKVD headquarters!" Zarbon yelled.

"Yes sir! I'll get out of Russia right away!" Mishum ran off half-naked from the bottom down the street.

Morgan and Zarbon laughed their asses off and high-fived each other, "Oh that was so funny!"

All the sudden they heard laughing behind them, they turned to see that Ivan and Nicolai were laughing at them, "Oh no it's the mafia. Don't worry Morgan we'll arrest them, quick what is the word for arrest?" Zarbon asked.

"Sorry to tell you this, but the NKVD doesn't exist anymore, I almost fell for it!" Nicolai said.

"Мы растрелем тебя сейчас!" Morgan said in a thick Russian accent aiming her plastic gun at the Mafia people and getting in front of Zarbon to protect her man.

"A little plastic gun, do you think that we're that stupid?" Ivan asked laughing. 

"No but Mishum sure was," Morgan said.

"She maybe dumb, but we're going to destroy you!" Nicolai said as he and Ivan took out some real machine guns aiming them at Morgan and Zarbon.

Morgan smiled uncomfortably, "I have something to say to that, run for it Zarbon!" Morgan yelled as she and Zarbon ran fast away from them.

The two mafia people started shooting at Morgan and Zarbon as they were chasing them, to the point where they ran out of bullets. Although it would probably take more than one bullet to kill Zarbon, he had seen on TV, what those guns could do to people. Needless to say, he was not pleased with the results.

"Quick we'll hide somewhere! Let's hide in the Kremlin!" Zarbon said.

"Yah right!" Morgan yelled.

A bunch of little kids were playing in the hot sun in a sprinkler in the street, the hose was on and Morgan and Zarbon slipped and fell down on top of each other before they had time to stop. The Mafia slipped and fell on top of them as well, the kids then got scared, screamed and ran away.

The mafia then got off Zarbon and Morgan and quickly hit Zarbon and Morgan in the heads hard with their guns knocking them out. Hey just because Zarbon was an alien did not mean that he could not be knocked out easily, which seemed to happen a lot when he was caught off guard.

"The poor things let's get them somewhere where they're regain consciousness!" Nicolai said sarcastically laughing along with Ivan.

Olga and Tre flew over Siberia, "Wow I never realized how beautiful Siberia is." Tre said.

"It says on the map that there is another airport. Let's fly to it." Olga said.

Olga and Tre arrived at the airport in Ekaterinburg the next hour in a half, and getting the plane filled up.

"I'm going into the airport and getting some snacks," Tre said.

"Ok you do that Tre," Olga said.

Tre walked into the airport, he noticed that most of the shops had the Russian Alphabet and that there were almost no English restaurants or shops listed in English. This made Tre crazy; he could not stand the fact that if he walked into an airport that another language besides English would be written.

Tre saw what looked like a candy store, he walked into it and saw a cute Redheaded Russian girl behind the counter, but unfortunately, all the goodies were behind the counter and not on the side like most stores in America are.

"Hello lady I need some snacks!" Tre said. She looked at him funny, "I said hello lady, can you not understand me?" Tre asked getting mad. 

"Oh I understand you, it's just I've never seen a black man before," She said looking at him funny.

"You haven't?" Tre asked raising an eyebrow.

"No I haven't, only on TV. Welcome to Russia I hope that you enjoy your stay!" The woman shook hands with Tre.

"So I take it that you like me?" Tre asked blushing.

"No I just wanted to tell you that I appreciate you visiting my country." The woman said.

"I just need some snacks is all." Tre said looking at the snacks written in Russian and not in English as if he thought they would be, he knew now that Russia was a different world than in the west, which made him even madder.

Hours later night fell in Moscow, Morgan and Zarbon were in a warehouse outside of Moscow, tied up to a chair and Zarbon still out cold.

"Wake up Zarbon!" Morgan said.

"What? Oh no we're tied up aren't we Morgan?" Zarbon asked sighing.

"So you thought you could get away from us, well you were dead wrong!" Ivan called down to them from above on a high staircase.

"Bush ordered us to arrest these jerks and we're going to damn well do it!"

"Why must you arrest us anyways? We're just trying to make a living!" Nicolai said.

"There are other ways; it doesn't have to be selling drugs to kids!" Morgan said.

"You don't understand when communism collapse in Soviet Union, we had no government jobs offered to us and my mama committed suicide since she wasn't forced by government to work for a few rubles!" Ivan said.

"Oh cry me a river won't you, capitalism isn't so bad once you get used to how to manipulate the market, the USA does it all the time," Zarbon said.

"I don't recall Regan saying that we had to adopt capitalism, thanks to you idiots, the police don't want to work harder nor do they want to stop criminals so you only made Russia a lot worse than it actually was under communism!" Ivan said.

"We're going into town for a minuet to collect up the money that Mishum made for us, if we can even find her!" Nicolai said.

"I don't think we'll be able to find her I heard that she ran back to North Korea to hide with Kim Jung Ill again," Ivan said.

"Oh well we'll just kill you then!" Nicolai said pointing his machine gun at Morgan and Zarbon.

"Oh no Zarbon we're going to die!" Morgan said.

"No we're not; I'll get us out of here!" Zarbon said quickly breaking free from the tight rope tied the Morgan and him.

He then quickly grabbed Nicolai's gun and whacked him so hard that Nicolai went flying into a pile of empty boxes. Ivan then started shooting a gun at Morgan and Zarbon, Zarbon grabbed Morgan and then moved out of the way of the bullets, and Ivan then ran out of bullets. He then went to the cabinet to look for some new bullets but then Zarbon knew what he had to do.

Zarbon then Zanzokened up to where Ivan was and he reappeared behind him and then kicked him off the stairs onto the floor. Zarbon then flew back down and held Morgan tightly to him, "I'm so glad you're all right!" Zarbon said.

Olga and Tre flew in the plane near the building "I wonder what this button does." Tre pressed a button.

"Tre no you pressed the landing button," Olga said.

"Don't worry Olga, we're not going to crash," Tre said with a relaxed look on his face, Olga looked at him funny, "On the other hand let's start panicking!" They started screaming; usually Olga knew what to do in this situation, but sadly to say that she panicked too much to think straight.

As Morgan and Zarbon tied the Ivan and Nicolai to a chair they knew that their work was done, "Now what do we do?" Morgan asked.

Then the plane crashed through the windows and the balcony. Zarbon grabbed Morgan, flew her outside, and watched as the plane almost crashed into the two mafia men, but barely, although the chair fell over onto the ground with them still tied together.

Olga and Tre got out of the plane, Olga was mad as hell, "Tre don't ever do that again!" she yelled.

"Are you at least going to ask if I'm ok or not?" Tre asked.

Morgan and Zarbon then knew who the two were, "Olga, Tre what are you two doing here?" Morgan asked.

"We wanted to help you defeat the Russian mafia, so where are they?" Olga asked.

"We appreciate the help, but I'm afraid that you're too late," Morgan said pointing to the two thugs still tied up but now on the ground still tied to that chair.

"I'll call Putin and tell him that our dirty job is done," Morgan said.

The next day in Moscow, the Russian Mafia stood in chains in the back of a truck; the police closed the doors to the back of the truck and took those crooks away to prison.

"Serves you right for trying to kill us!" Morgan yelled.

"So when are we going to leave Russia?" Zarbon asked.

"I don't know should we leave in Olga's plane?" Morgan asked.

"Sure, I just need to fix it, oh fuck it I'll need to get a new plane mine is ruined!" Olga said.

"I say that out next activity should be touring the city!" Morgan said.

"Ok Morgan we'll visit the Kremlin to start off with!" Zarbon said.

"Come on guys let's go for it!" Morgan yelled excitedly.

Everyone started walking towards the Kremlin; Tre could not help but notice that people were staring at him, "Why is everyone staring at me?" Tre asked.

"Well it's not every day that Russians see a black person," Morgan said.

End of Story


End file.
